Having lost my father suddenly at the age of six, death and grief had almost always been a part of my life. Losing him at such a young age was disorienting and it was hard to make sense out of what was happening around me for much of my childhood. Later in life, I had the opportunity to witness my beloved grandmother’s passing in a much more gentle and peaceful way, which helped me see death in a totally different light. I was able to be with her in her final moments and realized how beautiful and sacred it felt to accompany her to The Gate.

 

She was living in a nursing home at the time, and we received a call from the nurses saying she was no longer eating and likely only had a couple days left to live. When I heard this, I took the day off work and got ready to go to the nursing home to be with her. When I got there, I said a few words to her but for the most part, just sat silently by her bedside reminiscing about moments we had shared throughout her life. As a child and well into my teenage years, I would spend weekends with my grandmother, June. She enjoyed afternoon tea and whenever my brothers and I would visit, she would have the table set and the tea brewing as soon as we arrived. She always put out a full spread of goodies from cookies and cakes to speciality cheeses and gourmet olives. When I'd sleep over, we would watch the evening news together and then get ready for bed. As part of our nightly routine, she would ask “Did you brush your pearls?” and then tuck me into bed with layers upon layers of flannel sheets, blankets, duvets, soft pillows, and a kiss goodnight. Spending time at my grandmother’s place always felt like a haven. She knew how to make me feel safe and loved.

 

When I went to the nursing home to see her on her final day, I wanted her to feel that same love and warmth that she had shown me all my life, as she was leaving this earth. I sat with her for several hours, mostly in silence as she was non-verbal by that point. Her breathing became more and more irregular. My brother that lived out of town called to say his goodbyes and I held up the phone to her ear so she could hear his words of love and gratitude. After sitting with her for a few hours, I felt like our time together was complete, so I gave her a final kiss and tucked a plush dog under her arm so that she had something soft to hold onto. A few minutes later, my uncle arrived to say his goodbyes, and that is when she took her final breath.

 

A few months after my grandmother passed, I went to see a medium and connected with my grandmother's spirit. She confirmed that my presence at her bedside made her feel "bathed in love" as she was crossing over. From that moment, I realized that everyone deserves to feel bathed in love as they are transitioning out of this realm. I’ve always felt a deep calling to support people in their most vulnerable and transformative moments. Death, like birth, is a profound threshold, and I believe that everyone deserves to be held with gentleness, kindness and compassion as they make this transition.

 

Shortly after this experience, I started researching energy work and felt called to pursue Reiki training. As a developed my Reiki practice, I realized that I could use this energetic passage to help ease others' journey from one realm to the next as I had done for my sweet grandmother. I began volunteering at my local hospice organization and taking doula training, and that is how my journey into end-of-life care began.

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